


now you're seeing things that you'd lost sight of

by who_won_the_race_back_home



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 21:19:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16250012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_won_the_race_back_home/pseuds/who_won_the_race_back_home
Summary: Zari changing Helen's fate brings Amaya to some conclusions about her power over her own destiny.





	now you're seeing things that you'd lost sight of

**Author's Note:**

> That deleted Amaya/Zari scene from 306 struck me with some feelings, so this is an alternate take on Zari telling Amaya that she took Helen to Themyscira instead of Troy.
> 
> Title obviously from Carly Rae's Making The Most Of The Night, because she has made a song for every kind of fic.

Zari winced at the sound of the jumpship’s door as it sealed shut. For all this insane future technology, apparently no one had ever figured out how to make airlocks quieter. She was trying to avoid catching attention, the last thing she wanted was to talk to someone. The thought of pretending she had left Helen to rot in Troy made her nauseous, so having to fake her way through a conversation with Ray or, god forbid, Nate, was not an option. And Sara was going to be okay, so Zari didn’t feel quite as bad that she was currently stuck in a Gideon-induced coma and incapable of asking questions.

It was hard to keep her boots from clanking against the metal of the floor, walking as quietly as she could through the halls of the ship on the way to her room. Her door was in sight when suddenly, there was the woosh behind her. Zari sped up just a bit, hoping to duck into her room before whoever it was caught her.

“So, how’d it go?”

The voice froze Zari in her tracks, and she slowly turned to find Amaya leaned against the doorway of her own bunk. She was ready for bed in those old fashioned pajamas she wore, voice a little rough. Maybe she had already been asleep. Zari hadn’t totally perfected getting the ship to land at quite the right moment back in the temporal zone.

“Oh, fine. It was, uh-fine,” she stuttered, mentally kicking herself before she even finished the sentence for how unconvincing it was.

Amaya hummed, arching an eyebrow. Zari had always been a pretty good liar, but from the second they met, Amaya could see right through her. Maybe there was something to that mystical destiny connection or whatever it was that was going on between their totems. Maybe it gave Amaya magical lie detector powers.

Or maybe Zari wasn’t as good a liar as she once thought.

Amaya nodded over her shoulder and Zari followed her back into her bunk. The door whooshed closed behind them, and suddenly Zari knew she was going to have to tell Amaya the truth. Which was immensely unfair.

“So, how did it go?” Amaya asked, again.

“Like I said, it was fine. Got Helen back safe and sound.” Zari’s gaze went just past Amaya, to a shelf of tchotchkes, so she wouldn’t have to look Amaya in the eye.

“Zari.” Amaya was firm, but gentle. Like she knew she didn’t have to press too hard.

She didn’t.

It was quiet for a long moment, Amaya’s gaze growing just slightly more disappointed the longer the silence went on.

“Fine,” Zari said, throwing her head back, exasperated at herself for being unable to resist Amaya’s stare. “I didn’t take Helen back to Troy.”

“What? Where did you take her?”

“Themyscira. Same time period, just–a different ancient Mediterranean civilization. It’s where the Amazons are from. And Wonder Woman.”

The edges of Amaya’s mouth turned down, just a bit, just enough to notice, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t go and change history like that.”

Zari snapped her head back down to look at Amaya.

“Why? Helen told me she was miserable in Troy, and I looked it up–she had no impact on the rest of the war. Whatever happened to her was lost, so there’s no record to screw up. And what’s Nate always saying, sometimes we screw things up for the better? What about actually making things better on purpose?”

“That’s not how this works, Zari.”

“But. Why,” Zari insisted. “How can we all go on living with ourselves putting people back in terrible situations? We’re time travelers! Do you ever stop and think about how insane that is? What good is being a fucking time traveler if we can’t make time better?”

She was yelling now, pacing back and forth across the room, and Amaya was letting her, arms still crossed, standing firm against Zari’s words.

“It’s fucking stupid that Helen has to go back and live her own personal hell when she doesn’t even figure into history! She would probably just spend the rest of her life locked away in some fort getting fucked by some dude she becomes the property of, and then she has to deal with that until she dies. I’m sorry, but-well, no, I’m not sorry, but I couldn’t let her go through that.” Zari stopped and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “I couldn’t just stand by and let her suffer. It may not follow ‘the rules’ or whatever,” she said, making limp air quotes. “But I didn’t put up with this shit back home, and I’m not going to start now.”

“We don’t get to decide that, though,” Amaya said, softly, turning her gaze towards the floor. “We don’t get to just change someone’s future.”

“Well, it’s what she wanted, so I did it. And I don’t regret it. Time hasn’t collapsed. Nate isn’t freaking out that the anachronism map has exploded. I made Helen’s life better. I gave her a chance to  _ have _ a life. Who knows how much better the world is going to be now?”

Amaya lifted her head to look at Zari again. “And what if it’s not?”

Zari paused for a moment. She knew she would rather screw up trying to make things right a million times over than not try at all. “Then I guess we’ll have a lot more work to do, and I’m willing to deal with that.”

Finally, Zari let some of the defensive anger sink out of her shoulders, deflating a little as she shrugged. What little fight she had left in her gone. It had been a very long day (days? She didn’t even know anymore) and she was tired. Amaya looked at her softly, eyes crinkling at their edges. Her mouth was still a mystery, drawn in a line. But her eyes, they said Zari was right. Or at the very least, she wasn’t totally wrong.

In one movement Amaya stepped into Zari’s space and suddenly was kissing her, hands cupping Zari’s face. In shock, it took Zari a moment to register what was happening and close her eyes. The kiss was soft and gentle, like Amaya in her most private moments, ones that still were confusing to actually be witness to, but Zari was slowly realizing how special they were to get to see.

One of Amaya’s hands drifted down to rest on Zari’s totem, and Zari felt the warmth against her chest as it began to glow. Amaya pulled back and Zari immediately missed her, unconsciously grabbing Amaya by the hips to keep her close. There was amusement in Amaya’s eyes as they drifted down to the totem under her fingers, pulsing softly under her touch. She smiled, and lifted her gaze back up to Zari.

“What was–” Zari began, unsure what she even wanted to ask. “Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t–I liked it. It’s just–that’s not where I saw this conversation going.”

Amaya’s smile grew a bit wider, and Zari noticed that Amaya’s totem had begun to glow too, a soft, calming blue that made the nervous racing of Zari’s heart slow just a bit.

“I spent a lot of time tonight thinking about destiny,” Amaya said, toying with Zari’s totem in her fingers. She took a deep breath. “Kuasa is my granddaughter.”

Zari took a step back. “Holy shit, what?”

“Another granddaughter I didn’t know I had and–” Amaya tentatively reached out to grab Zari’s hand, pulling her that step closer again. “I know what I need to do, and I know I need to go back home but–”

“But?” Zari said, confused.

“I don’t know if I can change my destiny without hurting anyone. I don’t know I would do it even if it wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Amaya said, taking Zari’s hand and placing it on the spirit totem. “But I can’t let that paralyze me. And our totems, they are telling me something that I can’t ignore.”

Once again the totem’s energies melded and swirled together, creating a beautiful purple in the small space between their bodies.

“I don’t like not knowing,” Amaya said, quietly as the haze of energy dissipated. “But I know whatever this is, I can’t go back to Zambesi right now. Not yet.”

Zari was overwhelmed in a way she had never experienced before. Or maybe it was the time jumps and lack of sleep finally catching up. But she couldn’t resist giving another fuck you to fate.

“Okay,” Zari whispered.

“Okay?” Amaya asked.

“Yeah.”

Zari gently pulled Amaya in by the back of the neck and kissed her again, deeper, with a purpose she now felt sure of.


End file.
